Dear Anonymous, I Grew Up Playing On My Phone and Getting High. The Forgetting is Natural, The Remembering is Pure Joy
This Newsletter Pertains To Religion And The Impact It May Create In Different Places On The Timelines Of Our Lives
Sotce Vs. Religion
Answered last year, late at night.
Sotce, do you fear that the life lessons Buddhism has taught you will fade over time and become less important in your life?
When I was a bit younger in my journey I used to worry about this a lot. I had just returned to the US from the teachings that broke me open, the teachings that erupted in me like butterflies. From this I moved into a cold apartment.
I had started school and I didn’t care about any of it. I wandered around in the winter snow smoking rolled cigarettes, trying to hear my teacher’s song in my head. On my last day at her center I handed her an envelope of money, as a thank you, and she held my head and sang to me and i cried big tears. The time that followed this departure was so confusing, like wandering through a dream. It seemed like every day I was getting farther from who I was there, it seemed like my environment was pushing me into a form that was no longer me, no longer mine. So I pushed hard to keep the feelings alive within me, and I was hard on myself anytime the Amelia before Buddhism emerged, which she did. She got upset and she “imbibed” and sometimes she couldn’t see past her own attachments. her environment definitely encouraged this.
In the years since then I have been able to melt in and out of it. I have lived in religious centers and I have taken classes and I have found sotce, and I have learned to shift in and out of her light for many people. I have worked on myself every day, I have held myself accountable for my thoughts words and deeds in a gentle ish way. This is what it means, for me, to uphold these ancient teachings in a realistically modern world. I feel confident that i belong here, in the world, and I am learning how to be human and holy at the same time. I was not born in the body of a monk. i am not from the quiet valleys of nepal or the snowy mountains of lhasa. I am from south philadelphia, and I grew up playing on my phone and getting high. the forgetting is natural. the remembering is pure joy.
Six months ago, on my mother’s couch.
Sotce, we’re in love, but he can’t be with me unless I convert to Islam. We’re exploring it together but I’m scared. It feels imbalanced, my taking him as he is but him being unable to take me as myself.
It does feel imbalanced. I’m not sure what you should do here, as I’m not in your world and I don’t have many details.
I am exploring the idea of totally dissolving into love, giving all of myself without expecting much of anything in return. I am leaving my relationship knowing that it was successful because I gave everything i could
With that being said, a promise is like a kiss. It is real and blooming in the moment it’s made but you can’t really hold anyone to a promise.
These are some ideas that could help you with your decision. Listen to your body and follow things that you believe in.
I do not know when or where.
Sotce, what is your relationship with tarot?
In the way that uno and poker are games to play with friends, tarot is a game to play with God. It has to stay light and playful in this way, you cannot hold onto the answers it brings with an intensity and force that doesn’t match the energy of the game. And what is the game? It’s a game of chance, where you ask a question with an open mind and pull pretty pictures and look at them based on your world. Energy moves and energy changes, that’s what it does. With any answer you receive you have to understand they could ripple into something else at any moment. So tarot is about relinquishing control of a story, and seeing what you need to know about it. The greatest truths don’t have to be reached for, you can recognize them in the cards.
Hi Sotce, can you pull a card for me please?
I pulled the fool.
Sotce, were we meant to meet?
If you did, then yes. If you didn’t, then no.
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