I Suggest Meeting Yourself

Old Questions and Their Accompanying Answers That Somehow Feel Relevant Right Now

these seem to be school and book themed. if you like learning and writing, try the sotce method

Sotce, tell me if I should major in philosophy or biology please.

Biology tries to explain the outside and philosophy tries to explain the inside. Reach for both girl boss!

Sotce, I’m a senior in college, and I didn’t pick the right major and i am very incompetent. I have no other choice but to get really good at it and find a well paying job in the US (I’m an international student, my family depends on me doing this). Unfortunately, I have no passion for it. How do I make myself like it? I've always been very competent and responsible, this is by far my hardest challenge.

It matters less what you do and more how you do it. I think you are very capable of launching yourself into a steady position that will help your family, even if it’s not what you picture in your head. From there, just by being yourself and working hard and following your interests, you will meet yourself in a place that feels more fulfilling and oriented towards your own nature. You will meet your purpose just by being yourself. 

Nobody stumbles out of college into their dream job. Hardly anybody at our age knows what they are here to do. Right now you are fulfilling your duty out of a sense of honor and loyalty and that is something to be proud of, that is something to tap into when you feel weak or unsure. Trust in how beautiful that intention is, trust that it will lead you somewhere special

Sotce, how do I make big decisions when choosing one means the door slams shut on the other? I’m considering an exchange year/semester in NYC or Jerusalem. Very very different and I cannot know which will be best for my growth. 

I want you to separate from this slamming door visual, I don't think it really represents your situation. I think these doors will remain open to you, maybe in slightly different ways, but I think you can always choose to spend time in New York or Jerusalem. So don’t choose based on the loss of a choice, because this is a big assumption to make, choose based on what you want right now, when you are happy and full of life and energized, what frightens you a little and elicits a feeling of expansion in your chest.

Sotce, I’m about to fail a chemistry exam because I didn’t prepare for it well enough. I haven’t been this unprepared for something since being in college. I know it’s my fault, but I just can’t make myself work for it anymore. I feel like a lazy pos. Do you have any words that would make me feel slightly better about this? 

Just feel bad about it, that’s what’s calling you. People are so determined to feel good that they fight against their feelings. Good is the same as bad and right now the bad is more true for you or at least something to spend time in and investigate. The least resistance seems like it’s signing into yourself and then coming out saying whoops and moving on. Allowing yourself to be an imperfect being, guiding yourself back to your path in spite of that. Like yeah I messed this up, I see what I did wrong. I’m sorry for all that. Everything will work out won’t it, you’ll pass the class, life will move you along, but I think this present discomfort has something to teach you.

Sotce, I've been having a dilemma lately. I really want to study abroad (more the abroad part over study but I’m working on my degree and student loans and scholarships are necessary for my adventure) but i can’t decide where to go. There’s so many countries! I’ve been thinking and thinking and really can't decide. I've never been out of the US and want to see mountains and scavenge in the forest but also meet friends and maybe even be crazy and go to a club. Where do i go?

Mountains, forests, friends, parties. I think you will be surprised how much of the world can offer this to you. I think if you put these into a list and closed your eyes pointed on the map landed there you would cross off everything on your list. The decision will drive you crazy but it doesn’t change what you will find. I suggest meeting yourself on a clear day and deciding to decide– that’s the real decision, to decide that you are deciding and not abandoning the decision even if you wake up not feeling right. From there, walking to a graveyard or somewhere private and special, then flipping a coin in front of an angel statue or old man statue or perfect tree or whatever speaks to hold you and deciding that the coin flip will be your answer.

I am excited for the places you’ll go.

Sotce, I haven't attended class in a month now. I desperately need to go in, but because it has been so long, it feels impossible. I'm so stressed.

Life can be too much to handle. And it happens whether we are active participants or not, it all just keeps happening and happening. I sense that this whole month you’ve been thinking about what you’re not doing. It’s swallowing you and covering you. What if you actually allowed yourself to rest? For whatever amount of time you have you can sit in the space in between, between what happened and what’s happening and what’s going to happen just return to yourself and breathe. Every second you can spend there is like a spa or retreat or vacation. Try to relinquish what you’re holding, focus on that space and hold that only and see how light it is and move forward from that. You just have to do the next thing.

Sotce, I'm attracted to my college professor, he's old, I feel impure and it makes me sad, idk what to do with this feeling... help me Sotce.

The emotion of attraction is lovely and potent and our bodies are designed to reproduce, our bodies don’t understand why we haven’t had four children already. He is not a clown or an ogre, he is a professor, that is a timeless romantic trope. 

In attraction there is a certain lull I find so interesting, a certain frequency of pleasure that is worth being honest about. I wonder if you can look right at that sensation and apply it to other things that mean more to you or feel more aligned. 

I have someone I have thought about every day for almost four years. I try not to get ridiculous about it. Often we are called to spend our life doing the things we love the most.

Sotce, could you pull a card for me? I just got into a study abroad program in Australia for five months. I know absolutely no one ( the program is only 15 people) and am very excited but also very nervous. How should I approach this new era of change?

Just breathe through it. As simple as that sounds. Feel the ground beneath your feet, lean into things you can rely on, drinking, sleeping, sitting, eating, walking, standing, thinking. Be really inside of yourself and bring yourself with you. When you feel lonely and it’s dark outside you can give yourself a big hug, you can approach the void or you can read a book in your bed. Life is a good teacher and a good friend, don’t be afraid. The worst thing could be the best and so on.

Sotce, do you have any advice for succeeding in school to earn a degree I don't wholeheartedly care for?

Honestly? If you aren’t happy when you think of earning your degree, you should probably shift into something that makes you happy to think about instead of trying to convince yourself you’re alright where you are. Is this possible for you? If you only have a few months left I guess try to get the most out of it, but why would you stay somewhere that makes you unhappy?

Sotce, I want to write my masters thesis on you.

I’ll frame it on the wall and look at it until I die.